Disclaimer

If you read any of my blog entries below, beware. My dirty old sailor mouth (as my mom nicely tells me) comes out in some of my previous entries. I kinda forgot about this small detail when I decided to post the link to my blog on my fundraising page. Sorry in advance. And yes, I had a crazy month of July full of bad habits that some of you probably didn't even know I had. Sorry about that too. I know the Internet is a terrible way to find out. fail.

BUT! I really am serious about finishing the marathon in under 5.5 hours and surviving the Chicago Tri (Olympic distance), so have faith! :-)

A new PR - I didn't drop dead??

Well. I've been quite a lazy-ass in the past month. I would say I've played hard, and played even harder. My liver still is wondering wtf hit it after two weekends of concerts. Such a great time, such lazy weeks between (well, work and sleep). I messed up, I didn't keep with my training at all, so now I'm three weeks behind in marathon training. Lazy. Only thing I can say.

So I had a tri this past weekend. I really debated if I should just skip it. It has been in the upper 90s. I knew it would be in the mid-80s at the start of the race. Even though it was just a sprint tri I have not been training, I have been drinking a lot and smoking when I drink. I figured I would probably either sink to the bottom of the reservoir or I would literally pass out on the bike or run.

I talked myself out of quitting, figured if I got to feeling bad I wouldn't chance it and would stop where ever I was in the race. I picked up my packet, packed up my stuff and got a good night sleep. I woke up late, rushed out the door without a proper breakfast (mainly because I haven't been to the store in 3 weeks) and got to the park.

In our pre-race meeting the told us we'd be DQ'd on the bike if we had an ipod and we'd get a 2 minute penalty for headphones on the run. Shit. I don't want that, but I've never done a race 100% without music. Even at Carmel, I cheated a little bit.

It was 85 at 8 a.m. when the race kicked off. The water in the reservoir was bathwater, it was absolutely disgusting and not refreshing at all. I got in the water and some how got a little off the course so I tried to rush back to the pack. In the process I ingested a mouthful of warm lake water (I almost barfed just now thinking about it) and spent a good minute treading water while coughing it out of my lungs. I got out of the lake and a guy passed out right in front of me. That scared the crap out of me as I ran by (they already had oxygen on him). I knew I was behind my June swim time. Oh well, I hadn't sunk like a lead balloon, so strike one victory.

I ran to my bike and took off. As soon as you get out of the transition area you face one of the biggest hills on the course, so cruel. It really wasn't an issue at all and I got up it a bit faster than I remembered in June. I screamed "HI Richard" (a volunteer from the museum) as I rode by. I was passing people left and right. Surely there were slower people this race. As I got out to the main street I had a few cops cheering me on. I guess that's the benefit of being one of the biggest chicks out on the course, everyone seems to be amazed you're out there and passing people, so they get really excited when you go by.

I flew back into the park and realized I killed the bike but I knew I had a slower transition than June as I got my running shoes on. It was so effin hot I spent a few seconds just taking down liquids. I ran out of the transition and faced that cruel hill again. The first 1.5 miles are an uphill incline in the direct sun. Fucking sucks, not going to lie. I alternated running (shuffling?) and walking up the hill. I passed a girl coming down the hill the other way that I had been neck and neck with in June at the finish line. I was outright pissed at myself for slacking, had I trained, I KNOW I would have beat her. Instead I got lazy, partied my ass off and was getting my ass kicked. Lesson learned. Also without music, I realized how much I have screwed my lungs and can hear every breath as I hit the pavement. Lesson learned 2.

Running down the hill I knew I was finishing the run faster than June by some weird act of god. I run by and scream "Hi Richard" again and get a bunch of screams back from people " GO BLUE" as I run by in my blue puma shirt. Who greets me at the top of the last hill? The girl who I should have beat. Turns out her name is Shannon and she said she wanted to run the last quarter mile in with me (she had already finished and came back up). I said that was sweet and we chatted as we sprinted down the hill. Well as best I could "chat" as I was running, drenched in sweat.

I finished and looked at the time and knew I had PR'd the race. WTF! How did that happen? I should have dropped dead somewhere along the 13.35 miles.

I have no clue how I did it. It certainly wasn't a PR that I earned or deserved, but I'll take it with a big lesson learned. I'm a tough bitch that can push through anything. I should know this after the ridiculous weight sets that get pushed at me every Wednesday (60 pushups into 60 dips? I've perfected my "are you fucking serious" look)

I'm ready to stop messing around and get serious. I'm so excited that PK and I are going to do our training (swim, run, weights) in Phoenix next week. I told my trainer I was giving her the gift she always wanted.. she now owns me. She tells me to jump and I'm going to ask how high. I'm ready to put all my energy and time into myself and training and get shit done. I'm ready to kill the Chicago Tri and then put all my focus into smashing the marathon to bits. There's clarity in all aspects of my life that are lining up just perfect to tell me now is the time.

Independence from myself

Today was day one of marathon training. The thought of running 26.2 still scares the living bejesus out of me. I find it ironic in a way that I finally lost my first toenail due to running the night before I began chipping away at the 435 to get to 26.2. Luckily there was already one growing underneath a bit, so it's not completely tragic, but still upsetting.

As I sit outside on this Independence day, listening to neighbors chatter over bbq, fireworks and kids playing horseshoes, I feel like this is a start to gain independence from myself. The thoughts and feelings that trap me and hold me back from really breaking free.

I had an amazing chat today with PK. He's so awesome, I really admire him. He's a fantastic runner and overall athlete, a perfectly fit guy, yet, he's still open with me about his own struggles with training and journaling his food. I can always tell him whatever is on my mind and he doesn't judge, he just listens. He provides me with words of inspiration and then tells me something he's currently struggling with, so I don't ever feel alone. I'm so glad he'll be in Phoenix to train with.

I've decided to ditch the online food journal and go back to good 'ol pen and paper. No excuses not to write it down because I'm not at a computer. I know this is the key to get me to my goals, it's tried and true and has worked before.

I think, actually, I know I'm ready to get off this plateau I've been camping out on for the last 12 months and ready to get back to business. Of course I'm starting this right at the worst time, I'm going to be gone the next 3 of 4 weekends, but maybe that's the best time. Work hard, play hard is the motto for July. Not that I don't usually live by that, but it seems more important than ever.

Just like a run, life has seemed to go slower in the first half than the second half. On a run it seems like forever to get to the half way mark, yet the 2nd half flies by. It felt like my whole life up until recently, I was always anxious to get through something and time crept by; high school, college, MBA. Then all the sudden I woke up one day and time starting flying out of the hour glass. Days just melt into months and now seem to melt into years.

November 5. Seems so far away but yet, it will be here before I know it.

3 down, 432 to go.

435

4-3-5 is the minimum number of miles I'll run to get ready for the marathon on November 5. I know I'll run more as I have some triathlons coming up as well.

It all starts MONDAY.